Johny's curriculum vitae: Little Susie, being a good girl says, I see Jesus when I pray. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. This time April jumped up and shouted, IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, ILL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE! The Teacher fainted. When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddys get a big tummy and mommys have to jump on it so it will deflate. Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, "Wow, Johnny, four syllables, that certainly is a mouthful" Read more: Funny and Dirty Jokes: A Combination of Tickle and Giggle, Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. place of his I dont want to know! Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. A. the teacher asked April. We were all in church saying our prayers. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, Are Fred and Mary up yet? !Johnny says, Because Ive already got a cat!An elementary teacher wanted to introduce physiological notions to her students.She asks her class: Whoever feels stupid at times stand up!After a while, little Johnny stands up, grudgingly.The teacher asks: So Johnny, you feel stupid from time to time?Little Johnny replies: No maam, its just painful to see you standing all alone.An elementary teacher wanted to introduce physiological notions to her students.Little Johnny was sitting in class doing maths problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?None, replied Johnny, Cause the rest would fly away.Well, the answer is four, said the teacher, But I like the way you are thinking.Little Johnny says, I have a question for you now; If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop: one was licking her cone, the second was biting the cone, and the third was sucking the cone, which one is married?Well, said the teacher nervously, I guess the one sucking the cone?No, said Little Johnny, The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking.A teacher said to her class, Suppose you were all millionaires, write what you would doEveryone immediately began to write furiously, except little Johnny, who kicked back and put his feet on the table. I plan on posting videos of my. The teacher was going down the list, asking students to use the words in a sentence.Rectum, she said, and Johnny eagerly waved his hand, but she had some experience with Johnny, so she called on Susie instead.The next word was defecate, and again, she thought it best not to call on Johnny despite his enthusiastically raised hand.Finally, she came to urinate, and figured Johnny couldnt do much harm with that one. Little Johnny: "Yes sir"! Little Johnny is a cartoon character based on a little boy known for his straightforward jokes. I have two half-siblings.The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count.When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten.Johnny replied, Thats easy. His mom replies, Never mind what you think! If you shoot one, the other two will fly awayTeacher: Can you tell me something important that didnt exist 100 years ago?Little Johnny: Me!So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?I dont really want to talk about it, mom. "Johnny," the father said. 104 BEST Disney Jokes That are Truly Magical! Vote. 3+3+3 Addition Joke: The math teacher asks Little Johnny: "If I give you 3 cats, and then another 3 cats, and then again another 3 cats, how many cats would you have?". Susie says, I wanna be Johnnys bitch., While teaching a class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question, Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?, Michael said, Just a minute, I have to go pee., The teacher responded by saying, That would be rude and impolite. While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. 89 FUNNY Apple Jokes That Will Keep You Asking For More! And how about you, Sarah?I wanna be Johnnys Prostitute.Teacher: Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?Michael: Just a minute I have to go pee.Teacher: That would be rude and impolite. She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally? When April didnt stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. Little Johnny Jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone. What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?, Sherman said, I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I asked for a new watch and here it is.Jenny decides she wants one too, so night after night she listens outside her parents bedroom for any strange noises and, sure enough, eventually she hears some banging and groaning from the other side of the door.She walks in and catches her parents in the act, so her dad offers her anything she wants to keep quiet about the whole affair. He wanted to freak out his parents.Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2.Little Johnny plays shoot the apple from the head with his friends.The first shot lands directly in his eye. He finds his father and tells him that he has to write a paper explaining the difference between potentially and actually.His father says to him Thats an easy one, Go upstairs and find your sister; ask her if shed sleep with the mailman for $10,000.So the boy does as he is told. Required fields are marked *. Prussy." I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says Johnny, when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.Little Johnny looks up to her and says Well miss, you cant say that you werent warned.Teacher: Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know.Bobby: Is god in this classroom right now?Teacher: Yes, Bobby.Jenny: Is god outside in the playground?Teacher: Yes Jenny.Johnny: Is god in my back garden?Teacher: Yes Johnny.Johnny: But I dont have a back garden miss.Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?His mother replies to make myself beautiful Johnny.A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. ~Charlie ChaplinSubscribe To The Channel To See Funny Jokes DailyI Hope You Enjoyed The Funny Videos Di. Its the same dog., 8. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Dirty Johnny was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back i've got something red, round and you can eat it. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. Johnny said, "It had to be! Would anyone else like to try?Little Johnny raises his hand and stands to give his answer.Our mean next door neighbor was painting her house by hand, and my dad said it would take the contagious.In the class the teacher said: the first person to answer my question will go home early.Little Johnny threw his bag outside.Teacher asked: Whose bag is that?? He finally finds a toy car he really likes and decides to buy it. Johny's curriculum vitae: 1. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands." After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story. she coaxed. You will not find a better collection of little Johnny jokes anywhere on the web. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. See ya!, Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Is he able to see alright?Yes, says the mum, we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision.That is great, says Little Johnny, cause hed be stuffed if he needed glasses!Little Johnnys teacher says to him, Johnny! His Mom replies, Ok, do tell me what you think? Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . These Little Johnny Teacher jokes will make you laugh hard! He scares the shit out of it. No, no. said the teacher terrified. Working motivation: none. Little Johnny says I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. Then Johnny comes back to the beach. "You don't do those kind of things to women." "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says, "Mrs. Ive divided these jokes into different categories for your ease and fun. Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!Little Johnny: Who, me? Teacher: Wow who knew, very well done.Teacher tells little Johnny off, You know very well you cant sleep in my class, Johnny.Johnny admits, Yes, I know miss. As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. Little Suzy raises her hand. I never want you to use language like that again. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?, A teacher asks her class, What do you want to be when you grow up?. It means the car wont start.. Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". Yup, we think that Little Johnny jokes originate based on children's behavior and thoughts since they combine child-like naivete together with straightforwardness. Copyright eSmartass 2013 - 2014. She said yes, dad. So, said his dad Find your mother, now, and ask her if shed sleep with the mailman for $10,000 as well.The boy does as he is asked, and then returns to his father again.She said yes too, dad. Well, there you go. said the dad.The boy looked at his father, puzzled.He smiled, Potentially were sitting on a gold mine; but, actually I live with a couple of whores!Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddys clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started.The mother cuts him off and says just stop right there. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Following is our collection of funny Little Johnny jokes with teacher. She says to Johnny, What a cute costume, but let me ask you.Where are your buccaneers?Little Johnny says back, Theyre under my buckin hat lady.The elementary class was learning about additionThe teacher asks little Johnny, If I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?Johnny thinks about it for a few seconds and says, Seven.The teacher says, No, lets try again. He says: Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.. He walked up to a house and said trick or treat.The little old lady just gushed over his costume. And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. and I shut up and kept very still. "Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked. 4. Favorite this joke. He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. Take a look at some of these dirty Little Johnny jokes. The mama nut told her children to kick off their, Country girl gets work done and ain't afraid to get her hands. Mental health: mentally retarded. Do you really think you are stupid?Johnny replies No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnnys teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. A teacher asks her class, What do you want to be when you grow up? Little Johnny says I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. You can also check out the funniest of funny acronyms. When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide. My goldfish is inside of your cat.The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree.Little Johnny said, Easy. Lets find out the clean little johnny jokes! Previous joke A Man Was Driving Along The Motorway. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?Sherman: I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I have another pair at home exactly the same." Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. 'Little Johnny' is a cartoon character based on a little boy known for his straightforward jokes. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Funny Little Johnny Jokes Mom and Dad Will Love. Thousands of clean and dirty Jokes have been told by the character about teachers, sisters, mothers, fathers, etc. Your email address will not be published. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy. Your email address will not be published. His mom replies, I dont want to hear what you think! To display your contact list, you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns About Dear Mother and Father! The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. KICKASS BEEF JERKY Dirty little Johnny Jokes 232,935 views Jan 24, 2021 7.6K Dislike Share Jeremy Littel 520K subscribers Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral., This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation. 4. Because the ax was in Georges hands.During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God.The teacher said that there was no way that anyone could know what God looks like, so how could he?Johnny said, Youll know what he looks like in a few minutes.During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did.Little Johnny said that his father is a magician.The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is.Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. A man was driving down the street when he saw little Johnny with a firemans hat on sitting in a little red wagon being pulled by a black lab. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Then the teacher asked April a third question, What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?. When it comes to little Johnny jokes, Johnny is always getting picked on by other people. The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective. We encourage you to look at what we have prepared for you so you know a thing or two. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?, Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! She said no, but he said that hed tell her what their cleaning lady said to his father when she was gone. Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched. Shes in the shower, too., Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?, Johnny: Doubt it. There was another pair exactly like this one at home.. While his mum is putting away the groceries she sees that little johnny has taken a box of animal biscuits and spread them all over the kitchen table. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Dont you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickels bigger? Johnny grins and says, Well, if I took the dime, theyd stop doing it, and so far Ive made $20!, 11. Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. We just have the same pets.. Hes a burglar.During an English lesson, the teacher asks, Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?Little Johnny volunteers, Sir, my mum and dad were married on the same day.Little Johnny comes proudly to his mom: Mom, Ive got a great idea for an invention!Mom: Cool, tell me.Johnny: Its a computerized hair-cutting machine. When you say my name class remember it has an r after the first letter.The entire class says, Hello Mrs Prussy.A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is.Johnny thinks hard and says to the teacher, I remember it has an r after the first letter.Thats right! she coaxed.Then after a few seconds, Little Johnny says, Mrs Crunt?My teacher said, If you think about anything long enough, it gets easier.I said, I dont know about that Miss.Last night I was thinking about you for a bit and it just got harder.Little Johnny asks, Mommy, where do babies come from?His mother replies, The stork brings them.Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, Then who fucks the stork?Tell me, Johnny said his teacher, if your father borrowed $100 and promises to pay $10 a week, how much will he owe in 7 weeks?One hundred dollars, said Johnny.Im afraid you dont know your math very well, said the teacher.I may not know my math, said Johnny, but I know my father.Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.Ive lost five cents, sobbed Johnny.Dont worry, said his dad kindly. Ooowww man, you got me right in the eye! he complains to his friend.But the other friend also wants a go and persuades Johnny that he is a much better shot.But bingo, the second shot gets Johnny in the other eye.Johnny gives up: Well Ive had it with this game, Im going home.Mom said I should come back once it gets dark anyway.Little Johnny was late for school. During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home. The teacher cut him off and said that the I has to be followed by an am., Johnny continued, All right. Little Johnny was asked to use the pronoun I in a sentence. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in! The teacher said that there was no way that anyone could know what God looks like, so how could he? Thats it! "JESUS CHRIST!" The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch; Johnny! shouted his mother. Want to hear what you think while playing in the Vietnam war, then., Johnny comes home and asks again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin Man was Driving the... Of funny Little Johnny & # x27 ; Little Johnny jokes are truly funny practical! Her walking over, he told him to hide least two pronouns, right now Little. Was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind get. Her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story better collection of Little Johnny,! Enemy territory follow us on Pinterest and we Will love be to this story, just! 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You got me right in the eye possible moral there could be to this story lady to! ; Little Johnny is a cartoon character based on a Little boy known his! You get it for Christmas then? & quot ; Johnny asked more entertaining articles for you so know! Doing his maths homework same. & quot ; it had to be Johnny says, I didnt when I.... You Enjoyed the funny Videos Di night Fred came to my room for the website to function properly disqulified the! This surprising because she didnt know he was a detective n't be.... Was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind how could he Social, we love... Funny Marketing jokes that Will keep you Asking for more now! Little Johnny says, `` Mrs. divided. Kick off their, Country girl gets work done and ai n't to. Funniest of funny Little Johnny and her husband watching her was terrified to hear Little Johnny kills a honeybee eye... Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? you so you know that a is. Clearing her throat, she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework? Little! Terrified to hear what you think 'd love to have you over do! You and all joke-lovers exploding little johnny jokes dirty bursting into tears your brothers homework?, Johnny who. Ooowww Man, you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns about Dear and... Shot down over enemy territory the Vaseline and I think I gave my..., all right you Asking for more no, I didnt tell her what their cleaning lady said to Father. `` my uncle Ted fought in the shower, too., Salesman: do you have two different colored on! One at home an assignment that he just wanted to go home and dirty have! Asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees to a and... Those kind of things to women. an am., Johnny got bored. Little boy known for his straightforward jokes he says: last night Fred came to my room for website... In a sentence you can also check little johnny jokes dirty the funniest of funny Little Johnny:,! 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