EN. In the wee hours of the night, Ashley's uncle "Richard" (not his real name), who lived in the house with his niece, appeared in the darkened room. Winds WNW at 10 to 15 mph.. Instead I am still running from Brian. I remember being so utterly confused.. Partly cloudy. So far, her story has inspired many kids to speak up about abuse, and that has led to more predators put behind bars. I will come get you, I know where you live, Erin recalled. My sister and I were the only girls that he was around all the time. MORE: Monmouth U. faces federal sexual assault case. The cousin used the same tactic as her first abuser telling her no one would believe her and there was no proof. Bucco introduced Erins Law (S-2145) on May 2. What factors came together for you to be able to not only overcome what happened, but to also thrive? Meetings between the two families were called to sort out the problem, to no avail. According to the Office of the Monmouth County Prosecutors website, the only time that Megans Law information will be released to parents or families of students is if the school receives a Tier III high risk notice concerning an offender living within a 1,000-foot radius of their location. Erin Merryn, Stolen Innocence: Triumphing Over a Childhood Broken by Abuse: A Memoir 0 likes Like "Brian, this letter is probably coming as a complete surprise to you, but I didn't feel I should warn you since you never warned me when you were going to use my body for own damn pleasures. (Read why most child abuse goes unreported). I remember reading this thinking, they dont teach us that in school. She is the founder of Erin's Law, which is a group advocating for child sexual abuse awareness. Anyone who has felt victimized, ashamed, isolated, and silenced by their abusers will receive a road-map in the book for self-discovery, forgiveness, and empowerment to overcome trauma and live fully and fearlessly for today. I am a survivor. I had only ever been told no one (would) believe me, I feared ruining our large extended family when they learned a family member (teenage cousin) was molesting my sister and I. Sixteen years ago, on March 29, 1998, my sister broke her silence to me. Erin said they just wanted to make sure their nephew got help. After graduating with Bachelors and Masters Degrees in social work from Western Illinois and Aurora Universities in 2008 and 2009, Health Communications published her second book, Living for Today: From Incest and Molestation to Fearlessness and Forgiveness. My parents believed me and my cousin Brian confessed to the police, she said. Eventually though the conversation has to shift and that question that I will never forget. Merryn, then 6, was excited about her first sleepover with her kindergarten classmate Ashley. Merryn: Many don't realize that there are 42 million survivors in America of child sexual abuse. Caught you off guard? [5] Her dad singled me out during the party. For so many years I stayed angry and bitter towards him. He sat down in front of Merryn and put his finger to his lips signaling her to remain quiet. Survivors need to know they have nothing to be ashamed of. A judge did sentenced her cousin to probation and counseling. Instead I am still running from Brian. In April, 2010, Illinois State Senator Tim Bivins agreed to meet with Erin and he became the first state legislator to sponsor Erins Law. Since that first meeting, Erin has met with hundreds of state legislators, testified dozens of times in front of State Senate and House committees, served on several committees to draft bills and implement the new laws, plus speaks regularly to schools, agencies, conferences and media nationwide. This representative did get on her mic. But nobody asked those important questions. A survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Erin has worked diligently to lobby every state to pass Erin's Law, beginning with her home state of Illinois in 2009. Merryn: My resilience took a lot of psychological help growing up as a kid, teen, and young adult. Merryn: The first thing someone can do is start talking about it. She started by pulling out that little pink diary. The girls were brought to a Children's Advocacy Center where they had to tell their stories to complete strangers, something Erin wasnt looking forward to at all. At age 17, she attempted suicide. Merryn says a few months ago, a local . As an adult, she's reclaimed the voice her abusers tried to silence. Again, she started having trouble in school, becoming distant and withdrawn. COURIER/JOELLYN CURRY I guess what I was trying to ask is, why do you think your abusers chose you instead of some other girl as a target? Chris Newlin - National Children's Advocacy Center The path to justice for survivors of sexual assault is not an easy road. She is the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety on the prevention of child sexual abuse. At the age of 13, Erin finally got the courage to tell her parents after learning her younger sister was being abused by that same cousin. He was free, but the rage inside Erin remained. Im glad he gets body boundaries and safety and Ill be pounding it into his head as long as I can. The only difference is now I am running from him in my dreams" (Merryn 49). It would have given me courage to know that I didn't have to live in constant fear that they could hurt me, and hurt me even worse if I told anyone. Its word for word my diary from the ages of 10 until my senior year of high school. The law was passed in a number of states,[7] with New York becoming the 37th in 2019. Do you still stay in contact with him? I will fight alongside Erin and the advocates right here in our community until the day that this lifesaving legislation finally becomes law.. After Bailey's passing, she adopted a kitten named Carrot. Merryn saidif parents are not comfortable, the bill allows parents toopt their kids out of the education. Merryn suffered sexual abuse by a male neighbor at ages six to eight[2] and by a teenage cousin at ages 11 to 13. I think he knew that once he had us conditioned, we were easy targets. What do you think made him want to apologize, finally? "Erin's Law" is named after Schaumburg native and activist Erin Merryn. (2012) Fox News Self - Author of 'An Unimaginable Act'. Merryn: This wasn't bad luck. Erin Merryn's memoir is about how her life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted."I thought when the abuse stopped I could move on with my life. Innocence lost. When I was six years old, I was sexually abused at a neighbor's house. Erin Merryn is author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. Was this just bad luck? You didn't just tell one person. Visiting Alaska this week, Erin Merryn is a long way from home, and even farther from the torturous past she endured as a sexually abused child. I was told repeatedly by my cousin that I had no proof, that he would deny it, that no one would believe me. Says Merryn: "[Ashley] made me pinky promise not to say anything. Childhood sexual abuse survivor turned author, speaker, child advocate and activist Erin Merryn is the founder and president of Erins Law. Alaska Dispatch: When you broke your silence and spoke up, was it frightening? Erin Elizabeth heard over the years from 11-13 "Nobody will believe you, you have no proof, you will destroy our large extended family, this is our secret don't tell anyone." As I often tell people, our innocence was stolen, (our) trust taken, but the one thing we can reclaim as survivors is our voices. Families pressuring loved ones to stay quiet is not uncommon, but as I often like to tell survivors, by speaking up you are not only helping yourself heal; you will help save other children from experiencing this same horror at the hands of their abuser. And a third girl I know was also abused by him. She also wantsteachers andstafftrained on the topic. She earned a master's degree from Aurora University in social work. As the abuse continued, and as she was forced to see her abuser over and over again in social situations, she struggled with . Have there been times in your life when haven't done well? I continued to write him because I wanted answers. I just figured I told my mom, and I never had to talk about this again. Should someone have known something was wrong sooner? The first episode began on a warm May night in 1991. CBN News Self - Children's Advocate. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Erin Merryn is an author (Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, An Unimaginable Act), activist, and founder of Erin's Law. After reading that letter, a switch flipped inside Erin. I always feared he would come back. When Merryn eventually confided in Ashley about what had happened, her friend was not surprised; in fact, the scene was depressingly familiar to her. I found myself locked in bedrooms, basements, bathrooms, a car, garage and repeatedly assaulted by my cousin.. Vermont State Board of Education has required it in schools since 2009. Erins Law soon caught on nationwide. But instead of telling everyone to vote against it, she told everyone to vote in support of this bill. [3], She graduated from Schaumburg High School in 2004[4] and earned a Bachelor of Social Work from Western Illinois University in 2008. She was named Glamour Magazine Woman of the Year in 2012 and a People magazine Hero Among Us for her tireless work promoting Erin's Law nationwide with a mission to our keep children safe by educating them about personal body safety. I had all the warning signs of an abused kid -- labeled behavior(ally) and emotionally disturbed, given an IEP (Individual Education Plan) for that behavior, I had anger problems, put my hand through a window weeks after being raped at 7 years old and threw tantrums on the floors in school. The man, then in his late 20s, abused her several more times in the next year, including, she says, raping her during a daytime visit when she thought he wouldn't be home. Merryn: I was terrified. MORE: Cancer-surviving mom stays strong for her son. No one will believe you, Erin. The two families have ceased having contact. Illinois is the fifth state to pass Erin's Law since she took up the cause. She was abused. But when it came to being sexually abused, there was nothing. Alaska Dispatch: Would something like what you are proposing -- Erin's Law -- have helped you? The family pressed charges against Brian, who ultimately admitted to three counts of sexual abuse. 35. She is an activist against child sexual abuse. After years as a teen struggling with nightmares and flashbacks of my abuse, attempting suicide, self-injury, etc., I decided to use that voice to confront my abuser For seven months we corresponded in letters. Erins Law encourages research based curriculum, Merryn said. Forgiveness set me free. Sunshine and a few clouds. Merryn said she was never taught to speak up about it, so shekept it a secret. Her testimony was met with a standing ovation. I often say victims are those who are killed by their attackers. The next day they told their parents. Erin Merryn's memoir is about how her life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted."I thought when the abuse stopped I could move on with my life. As a result, she has been interviewed by many major news organizations and TV programs beginning in 2006, on Good Morning America, Oprah, CNN, Today Show, Fox, Katie Couric, Nightline, TLC, OWN, MSNBC, People Magazine, Time Magazine, Glamour Magazine, USA Today, London Times, New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and dozens more local media. Who encouraged you to keep talking, to keep fighting? How do you identify? This went on for a month before police got involved. When I look at you, I see nothing but scum. Is there anything about your life circumstances that you think made you a target? What once caused her shame, and something she never wanted to talk about, she now found herself wanting to turn it into a book. Senator Gillibrand on the federal version of Erin's Law to give federal funding to the law, and in December 2015 President Obama signed the federal version of Erin's Law under the Every Student Succeeds Act. Alaska Dispatch: What can someone reading about this do in their own life, or change about their own perspective, to make coming forward easier for victims? A voice that flies across America and speaks at many of these CAC's that exist taking people back to my experience at the CAC and this time sharing all the details because I no longer carry the shame but instead a voice bringing awareness to these incredible centers that give children a new start on life and a path toward healing. But instead of destroying it, she ended up emailing her five-page account of anger and rage to her cousin, who was now attending college. Wow, I have a decision to make. The revelation caused tension in the family. Stolen Innocencewas published soon after. A place I went to with my eleven year old sister and mother. Did you have a helper or helpers in your life? Every parent should do their homework before they send their kids anywhere. She shows no signs of fatigue, and she seems ready. Merryn advocates for sexual abuse victims. Merryn spoke to members of the Ohio Senate Primary and Secondary Education Committee of how she was sexually abused as a child. She broke down and cried and said Erin's Law could have saved her as a child, but instead she only got the message from her abuser, who she knew, and stayed silent. My mom was a mess, that day she probably cried for 10 straight hours, looking at my dad saying, we missed all the red flags, her grades, she was depressed, Erin recalled. Merryn says her abuse ended when the family moved to a new neighborhood, Schaumburg, Illinois but she took her secret with her. 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