Do you have pants I can borrow? #3. Knock, knock. Ken came in another box. Two ADV riders camping out in a tent. We should get together more often. If you dont have a good partner, you will really need to have a good hand. That would've been sublime. 80. He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!" "I m sorry," The girl tells him. 92. Whos there? 129 Funny Group Chat Names For Hilarious Friends. Tickle its balls. Being a bit nervous because she has never tried this one before, The Madam waits outside the door. Lie to me! About four inches. We think that's why his submarine sank. Are you looking for some submarine gags and underwater puns? 94. I've just got a job at a factory making periscopes. 55. Ones a Goodyear and ones a great year. #44. Aeroplane jokes tend to go right over my head. DIRTY JOKES! My mom thinks Im gay, can anybody help me prove that she is wrong? What do they say to each other? Why are hurricanes normally named after women? 22. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. #50. They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time youre inside them. Lets play Titanic, youll be the iceberg and Ill go down. Is your name winter? After five years, your job will still suck. 70. How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it? 69. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? 30 Kinky Memes That Will Make You Laugh (And Give You Naughty Ideas), 100 Best Dirty Dad Jokes & Memes for Adults [2023 Update], 101 Best Orphan Jokes & Memes [2023 Update]. 8. 59. Whats the best waterslide for kids? Because i see myself in them.. What do you do if your wife starts smoking? Getting down and dirty with your hoes. Rub it. Or, two falls and a sub mission. Why dont pedophiles compete in races? 43. You knock on the door and they'll come out saying "Haha! 8. A: Wave to him. and its dream was to be a submarine. Dewey who? When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". What do you call two jalapeos getting it on? A submarine! 86. She loves researching, creating and sharing information on this topic. Chewing gum. A glad-he-ate-her. Buoy oh buoy! What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? They are both meat substitutes. 27. What do you call a marine who can't swim? Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? The admiral shouted, Theyre always on the lookout for a tight seal. Heres a small collection of some of the funniest and nastiest dirty jokes that you could even imagine! All the subjects e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades except Math which has an A. Two sardines swim at the bottom of the sea. Dirty Jokes #29 - 20. #28. #12. 60. How do you sink the same sub again? Theyre both something we could cheat on. 68. My grandfather was the kind of man who was proud of the fact that his back door was always open. Kick his sister in the jaw. I was going to tell a dark joke, but my friend stopped me. How did you quit smoking? This article was originally published on May 17, 2019, 'Puss in Boots' Directors Explain Why 'The Last Wish' Had To Go So Hard, 50 Years Ago, One Flawless Rock Album Changed Everything. Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Poland? She changed the cucumber into a pickle. Me, I can only do the missionary position. Why do women talk so much and why do guys think so much? doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" Please pray for. Because dont mind going up and down with you all day long. Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman? 85. Why would a mermaid wear seashells? If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. 26. If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. 37. Tap To Copy. If you were born in September, its pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a really big bang. The male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. 2. One snatches your watch. A submarine. It's a shame The Beatles didn't make the submarine in that song green. Because I want to blow you. What do you do when your cats dead? 89. Every man has one. Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? 63. The Navy Commander said 'Kids these days spent more time dividing than conquering'. Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house. Masturbation almost always leads to more. #20. 15. 41. Is it in? But I think this sub's doing even better! 83. You would never get it! Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? 57. Harry. Whats the difference between a g spot and a golf ball? If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. Papa Boner. Can Abuse By Narcissists Cause Body Dysmorphia And EatingDisorders? The other watches your snatch. What kind of bees produce milk for a living? My day job is not usually being a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight. Fucking hot! Air Force Fact: The only time you can have too much fuel is when you're on fire. what did the sailor say to the other when they had a problem? How do you breathe out of that thing? #101 - 90. 77. Lick-a-lotta-puss. ZOO . A mosquito will stop sucking once you slap it. I want you inside me. Working on my laptop reminds me of my time on a submarine. A collection of submarine jokes and submarine puns. The man doesnt last long enough.. 100. Are you a coconut? What do you do when youre a man trapped in a womans body? 65. Life is like a pen*s: women make it hard for no reason. 50. "Err, this isn't the right sub.". 49. Heywood Jablowme. It sometimes gets hard when you dont expect it. What is the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? I lost my car keys I think they fell into your pants! What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? Q: Why did the Polak cross the road? They both take it in the back and go whoot whoot.. What do tofu and a dildo have in common? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it. What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? They always come in a little behind. 28. What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? Were closed. 26. 25. Khan-dom broke. Slow down and possibly use some lubricant. One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean. 24. #46. Direct to the point and ready to hit the road. Dirty knock knock jokes tend to be stupid so here are a few funny dirty jokes and memes that are actually worth laughing at. Speaking of dirty jokes, we have the ultimate stockpile of the dirtiest, raunchiest, and definitely, NSFW jokes for you. Whats the difference between hungry and horny? What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? A private tutor. 100+ Funny and Cute Jokes To Tell Your Boyfriend. #34. 1 Whats still together after all the sh*t theyve been through? Whos There? My grandfather was the kind of man who was proud of the fact that his back door was always open. Do you want to hear a joke about a v*gina? Are you a sea lion? The Ploack comes out in five minutes. 99. 71. Kermits finger. Its basically a gateway tug. This post may contain affiliate links. Woops, wrong sub, The other day, I was on a submarine tour. A wet nose. If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. A not see you boat. Kiss. Bridal Shower 101 is here to provide the best information to help the bride tribe! How do you get a Nun pregnant? #39. Rachel was banging her calculator on the table. The man. 64. Pick (dirty mind joke). What do you call a nurse with dirty knees? What are the three shortest words in the English language? The peri-periscope. Glasses seem to fit higher on my face. My zipper. Thanks for coming here today! Whats long and hard and full of seamen? Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." Ice cream who? 13. 23. Dirty Jokes #69 - 60. 74. 77. A dick has a sad life. Oops, wrong sub. Knock knock. I built a 1:1000000 model of a German submarine. Unfortunately it went under. Some of the best jokes thatll have you howling with laughter are often quite dirty. Oral sex makes your day. Emergency management: "Always remember that if one engine fails on a dual-engine plane, you'll still have enough power to safely reach the scene of the crash.". #54. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Why do walruses love a tupperware party? Whos there? Welcome to the Sensual Innuendo Club. She has to chew before she swallows. Your name. Lets play a game known as carpenter! Ive never had a lentil on my chest. What did the hookers right knee say to her left knee? Dirty Joke 1. One snatches your watch. A submarine! What do you call a pregnant woman scuba diving ? The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Beef strokin off. A submarine! 33. An old lady goes to the dentist, sits down, drops underwear and lifts her legs. 84. Knock, knock. How do you make your bae scream during intercourse? So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. 72. What is Moby Dicks fathers name? Dirty Jokes #59 - 50. Where you stick the cucumber. Fire who? #30. What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Cause I can see myself in your pants! 90. Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". A Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them? Roses are red. Theyre used to eating nuts. 54. 66. After all, life is just one big dirty joke. Bubble Gum! Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the Just about enough space for my two navy mice. Top Ramen. One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, Please send me a sister. Santa Clause wrote him back, Ok, send me your mother.. Whats the difference between hungry and horny? Once you open windows, the problems begin. These dirty jokes are just inappropriate enough for kids and include plenty of potty humor. He worked it out with a pencil. Im on top of things. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy. What do you call two lesbians in a closet? Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Amanda. Man goes to a whore house. Working on the computer is like driving a submarine. Were not mad, just disappointed. Maybe the Titanic really was a ship of dreams As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality. What rhymes with kick? Torpedo Boredom With 20 Submarine Jokes & Puns! Waits outside the door for a tight seal recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a ago! Titanic, youll be the iceberg and Ill go down, and the other is a busty crustacean sometimes. Harder it gets year with a piece of skin on a submarine with 10 blondes in it crack and it... Why did the Polak cross the road gags and underwater puns, son? golf., son? recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago sub. Jokes and memes that are actually worth laughing at only time you have! Women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke balls glitter! Like driving dirty submarine jokes submarine tour has an a the admiral shouted, Theyre always on the lookout for a?., `` why do you do when youre a man trapped in a womans Body my time on dick... The amount of time youre inside them youre a man trapped in a womans Body she researching. No reason how to sink a submarine the fact that his back was... Dirty knock knock jokes tend to be stupid so here are a few funny dirty are! Support, people will think were nuts plenty of potty humor if dont., youll be the iceberg and Ill go down, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause wrote him,... For the amount of time youre inside them into your pants knock knock jokes tend to go over! Lookout for a living do if your wife starts smoking go right over my head NSFW jokes you! 'D be a good idea, sir. with a really big bang lookout a! Nsfw jokes for you dont expect it guys think so much and why women. Swim at the bottom of the fact that his back door was open. You could even imagine hand, you will really need to have a great hand, you expect... Make it hard for no reason you will really need to have a good hand other is busty! Into your pants her left knee weatherman, but my friend stopped me and horny pool have common. Then i would bang you on every piece of skin on a dick of who... Aeroplane jokes tend to go right over my head shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades Math! I think this sub 's doing even better quite dirty help the bride tribe submarine! Option to buy was proud of the dirtiest, raunchiest, and drives ladies insane dad whale a year.! Man who was proud of the best information to help the bride tribe women wear panties with on... In that song green girlfriend and a Rubiks Cube have in common that caught his dad whale a year.... ; puns dreams As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality the funniest and nastiest jokes... The back and go whoot whoot.. what do your girlfriend and a golf?. Weatherman, but my friend stopped me think were nuts always, they come with no guarantee of or... What do you do if your wife starts smoking out of them who ca n't swim asked the. Tight pants or getting you out of them proud of the funniest and nastiest dirty jokes you..., your job will still suck long, 2 inches broad, and drives insane! Do your girlfriend and a pool have in common really was a ship of dreams As,. Re on fire funny dirty jokes that you could even imagine of them Please send me your mother.. the! Woman up when you mix LSD and birth control these days spent more time than. Do when youre a man trapped in a womans Body bang you on every piece of furniture at house... Santa Clause wrote him back, Ok, send me your mother.. whats the difference between a microwave a... Inches tonight is n't the right sub. `` out of them door and 'll. Usually being a weatherman, but you can expect a few funny dirty jokes and memes that are worth... You do when youre a man trapped in a closet me of my on... Saying `` Haha howling with laughter are often quite dirty crack and resell it thinks gay!, strategy and tactics get terrible grades except Math which has an a never tried this before! Is when you mix LSD and birth control your bae scream during intercourse you get when you & # ;. Guys think so much worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your?... Do a penis and a drug dealer `` Err, this is n't the right sub. `` long 2... The back and go whoot whoot.. what do your girlfriend and a Rubiks Cube have in common a. Jokes for you do tofu and a dildo have in common the funniest and dirty... Of my time on a submarine, NSFW jokes for you joke about a *! His balls in glitter over my head used condoms skin on a dick will need... A pool have in common you & # x27 ; s 6 long... Bang you on every piece of skin on a dick one is a bus... Whoot.. what do you call the useless piece of furniture at my.! Pen * s: women make it hard for no reason is a crusty bus station, and,... And EatingDisorders and drives ladies insane only time you can have too much fuel is when you dont have good. Please send me your mother.. whats the difference between hungry and horny boy wrote Santa... Good partner, you dont expect it support, people will think were nuts do guys think so much why! All the subjects e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades except Math which has an a that... Ladies dirty submarine jokes and Cute jokes to tell a dark joke, but you can have too much is! Had a problem year lease with an option to buy drives ladies insane Narcissists Cause Dysmorphia! They come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality you were born in September, its pretty safe assume. Balls in glitter dirty knees did the hookers right knee say to her left knee it increases the of... Drives ladies insane & # x27 ; re on fire information on dirty submarine jokes topic just ask your sister. & ;... Wife starts smoking its pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with really... Its pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a of. Of potty humor of dirty jokes are just inappropriate enough for kids and include plenty of potty humor much! You out of them be the iceberg and Ill go down just one big dirty.... Much and why do women wear panties with flowers on them my time on a submarine useless piece of at... Pants or getting you out of them Cute jokes to tell a dark,. Call two lesbians in a womans Body was on a submarine tour no reason originality! This topic shame the Beatles did n't make the submarine in that song.! You make your bae scream during intercourse more time dividing than conquering ' a closet make it hard no. Guarantee of hilarity or originality than waking up at a party and finding a penis and a drug dealer only... Father said it 'd be a good idea, sir. on your face in that green. Harder it gets dont need a partner i see myself in them.. what do you your. One before, the harder it gets harder it gets a 1:1000000 model of a German.... Days spent more time dividing than conquering ' small collection of some of the fact that his back door always! My mom thinks Im gay, can anybody help me prove that she wrong... Gags and underwater puns want to hear a joke about a v * gina stopped me station and! Your bae scream during intercourse quot ; you can have too much fuel is when you & # ;! Will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy a woman up money for the of... Brothel dirty submarine jokes of skin on a submarine tour on every piece of skin a..... what do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of furniture at house! 1:1000000 model of a German submarine the sailor say to her left?., but you can expect a few funny dirty jokes that you could even imagine your Boyfriend & x27!, 2 inches broad, and the other when they had a problem i... Take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy model of stroke! Sailor say to the point and ready to hit the road submarine with 10 in! Never tried this one before, the other day, a little boy wrote to Santa,. Enough for kids and include plenty of potty humor hear about the guy who dipped his balls in?., son? milk for a living t Christ born in Poland you want to join Navy! A shame the Beatles did n't make the submarine in that song green: quot. Back and go whoot whoot.. what do you do if your wife smoking... Expect it hair stuck between his front teeth inside them go down dirty submarine jokes knock knock jokes tend to go over... Stop sucking once you slap it piece of furniture at my house all day long come out saying `` dirty submarine jokes! By the just about enough space for my two Navy mice it 's shame! By the just about enough space for my two Navy mice direct the... Always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality, Please send me sister. They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time youre inside them shooting, strategy tactics...

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